Cuteness Emergency's Journal|
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|Thursday, April 10th, 2014|
I finally, after literally years of trying, managed to start cleaning out my closet and replacing stuff. It's amazing how much of my clothing is either rags, designed for someone a decade my junior, or both. That was a hell of a mental block. But now that I've started I want to do it ALL AT ONCE and it's so frustrating that clothes cost money and money is limited. Also there's this one fashionable girl at the office who kindly compliments me on every new thing I wear which is nice, but I'd rather seamlessly transition from tomboy-hobo to properly dressed adult without anyone noticing. But I guess they already all noticed I dressed like a crazy person and were just too nice to say.
I want one of those makeover shows to suddenly appear and give me thousands of dollars and some fashion designers to tell me what to spend it on. They'd probably make me throw out my t-shirts, though. I managed to toss some of the stained and ragged jeans, but the t-shirt collection just got put in a box in the closet. It's a work in progress.
|Sunday, November 3rd, 2013|
All week things have been reminding me about the work I don't have to do. Someone asked how it's going being a research assistant instead of a teaching assistant, and if it was nice having so much less work. Which it is, I could be grading ninety exams right now but instead I'm waiting for someone to send me maybe two or three hours of proofreading. Someone asked me if I was one of the people taking a comprehensive exam next weekend and no, I'm not. No major exam this semester.
And yet, stress is still eating me alive. I got an infected cuticle (chronic winter problem for me) that lasted for more than a week (that's not so normal). I keep oversleeping drastically, by several hours, which I mostly stopped doing years ago, I guess when I finished growing? I've started listening to albums I used to calm myself down in high school.
Possibly it's time to admit that my stress issues aren't based on other people giving me too much work, and that I'm just terrible at coping with stress. It doesn't seem like it should be that hard to do.
|Monday, October 21st, 2013|
On the one hand, I no longer panic and convince myself I'm going to fail out of school and never amount to anything as a human being every time I have to write a paper. However, I think I've handled the fear of failure by somehow repressing it rather than getting rid of it, because I now get tons of physical stress symptoms instead. Which is probably preferable, but I still get the occasional symptom left over from the horrible chest cold I psyched myself into during finals a year ago.
You'd think I'd eventually learn to stop procrastinating, write the damn papers, and get it over with. But that would be too easy.
|Friday, October 18th, 2013|
Replacement car officially purchased! I'm getting a new (!!) Honda Fit, in bright red. It's not going to be here until the end of the month, but the only colors they had on hand were black and grey, which means grey and grey, because everything in Colorado is constantly covered with dust. So I'm waiting, but I will have a new red car! Who'd have thought? A cheaper used car would have been nice, but it turns out Japanese cars aren't cheap until they're practically falling apart, so I bought a new one. Then I'll have to offer to drive everyone everywhere for a while so they can admire my new red car. Yay!
|Friday, October 4th, 2013|
It's ridiculous how proud of myself I feel when I do normal things like a competent adult. Today's achievements include working on most (but by no means all) of my categories of work, going to the gym, mailing someone something important, paying bills, and not getting appallingly drunk. Oh, and grocery shopping. Really mundane, rock-bottom-basic requirements. But I did them all on one day! And it was Friday, usually I spend Fridays reverting into an undergrad with particularly poor judgement! Go team adult!
|Tuesday, September 24th, 2013|
The end of the 1st act of Valkyrie is great, but also hilarious. Our hero--the Mysterious Stranger--and Sieglinda have just fallen in love, and it goes like this:
Sieglinda: Yay, we're eloping! Now will you finally tell me your name?
MS: Eh, call me whatever, I don't care.
Sieglinda: I will name you after my twin brother, Siegmund, from whom I was separated as a child. That won't be weird, will it?
MS: Not at all, my name IS Siegmund. Good guess!
Sieglinda: Wait, so you are
my brother? Best day ever! I always wanted to marry you!
Siegmund: Yay! Let's go bang.
And then they run away and have a baby. It's cool though, they're half-god so the recessive genes are mostly positive traits. XD Really though, it's a moving love scene and the music is lovely. But, um, weird. This is your brain on eugenics, kids.
|Friday, September 13th, 2013|
Good news/bad news time.
Good news: I am fine. Third floor apartment for the win! There was some unwise driving through the flooding on the first night when I didn't realize how bad it was yet, but after that I stayed in and was safe.
Bad news: my car is not fine. Turns out, since Boulder doesn't usually have much rain, they don't require drains at the bottom of sloped driveways. Not that that would have done much good, since apparently the sewer systems were backing up. So yeah, my car was in water up to the top of the tires. And since it is a very, very old car, it sounds like the odds are bad that it'll be worth fixing. Luckily my insurance has some flood coverage, so I'm only out $500 and a car, but...I need that car. I liked
that car. I learned to drive in it. It was in fabulous shape for its age. I don't have time to shop for a new car. I've never actually bought a car before, since this one was my mom's before it was mine and she didn't exactly drive a hard bargain. Motherfucker.
So yes, this is my Boulder flood adventure. Sorry I didn't get any good pics, most of the excitement happened at night. Trust me, it was exciting!
|Saturday, August 31st, 2013|
Week one survived! With additional dental surgery, to boost the difficulty level. Thank god for Labor Day, the second week of class is an unintuitive time for a holiday until you get to that weekend at which point it seems like the best schedule ever. Whoever put that holiday there, bless you.
|Sunday, August 25th, 2013|
Welp, this is it. End of summer. Classes start back up tomorrow. The season of deadlines is upon us. It'll probably actually make me feel better to have more stuff to do and more interaction with people, but on the other hand, my stress level is so much higher during the school year. IDK, I hate dealing with things. It involves, like, energy and stuff.
|Monday, August 19th, 2013|
Laid down for a twenty minute nap, didn't wake up for two hours. And was then of course anaesthetized for the next four, because fucking sleep inertia. Luckily I don't think I intended to get too many things done this evening? At least I hope not because they sure didn't happen. I guess I needed the sleep. Sleep has to be one of the scarcest resources in our society.
|Sunday, August 18th, 2013|
Only one more week until classes start up again. Is there an emoticon that expresses deep dread? Ugh, sweet summer, don't leave me!
|Thursday, August 15th, 2013|
Sign you need more sleep: when you're too tired to get up and go do laundry even though you really need to.
Sign you REALLY FUCKING NEED some sleep: when you're too tired to go out and buy beer. Someone call the paramedics.
|Sunday, August 11th, 2013|
Went on a short hike yesterday with a new group of people, and for some reason my body treats this like a three day odyssey. The night before I couldn't sleep, because I was nervous about hanging out with new people. The day of I was exhausted, because six hours of sleep plus unaccustomed exercise plus stress of talking to new people. Today, even more residual fatigue because obviously sensible bodies respond to hiking with some sort of hangover. WTF body I don't even.
|Tuesday, August 6th, 2013|
I finally got my wifi to work, and then replaced my cheap old office chair with a nice one on the same weekend. It was move in weekend for my building, I guess the sight of new neighbors lugging around furniture inspired me.
Now I have these crazy nesty urges. I'm reading home decorating websites and thinking about replacing things that are ripped and ugly but I've never bothered to do anything about because they still work. Maybe I could figure out what it takes to make your apartment not look like a dorm room. Picture frames, maybe. Not having to move in August is such a strange and exhilarating sensation! Now if only I actually had the money to fix things up a bit...
|Sunday, June 9th, 2013|
The thing with video games (beyond the puzzle Tetris/Bejeweled/mindless-twitchy-finger-m
ovements type) is that KOTOR was everything I ever wanted out of them. So since then, they have to come up with something I had absolutely no clue I ever wanted to play. Things like, say, Okami, and Psychonauts. But anything below that level of weird makes me wonder why I'm spending my time on it and not replaying KOTOR.
This thought brought to you by me trying again to play Mass Effect. It's like they took KOTOR and replaced the turn-based lightsaber combat system (ie the perfect system) with fucking FPS combat which I hate and therefore avoid and therefore suck at. *sigh* Someday I should try playing a current game, see if the cultural zeitgeist sweeps me up. I hear the new Bioshock was good?
|Wednesday, June 5th, 2013|
How do some people reach adulthood without coming to grips with the fact that some people have different accents from them? Shocking news: not everyone in the world talks like you do, and most of them don't mean it as a personal affront.
|Thursday, May 23rd, 2013|
People who say "large breasts on small bodies are usually fakes and not a common body type and the advertising industry oppressing ussssss" drive me up the goddamn WALL. I wear one of the smallest mass-produced bra band sizes and have a fairly large set of knockers and I can direct you to forums-full of women in similar sizes. It is, in fact, pretty common. Breast size and rib size are somewhat correlated, but LBR, it's like trying to figure out the size of a guy's dick by looking at his shoes. It's funny how some people who are sooooo into social justice still haven't figured out that there are plenty of people--yes, "real" ones even---who are not the same size as them.
|Saturday, May 18th, 2013|
...annnnnd my dad just found my twitter. Which is not really surprising, as I already had to force-unfollow my mom. There are people who politely refused to follow me on Facebook, a site I have never used when not being paid to do so, for years. I need an extra-frustrated emoticon.
I now officially have a Master's degree! And boy did I motherfucking earn that sucker. They should give me two, for effort.
|Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013|
You know what I can't stand? BC/BCE. You're only fooling yourself if you use it. It's not a secular numbering system just because you swapped acronyms. YOU'RE STILL FUCKING COUNTING FROM A MATH-IMPAIRED MEDIEVAL MONK'S INCORRECT CALCULATION OF THE BIRTH DATE OF JESUS CHRIST. Can we get a little intellectual honesty, here?